I’m Back !!

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I’m back!! And I bet some of you are wondering "where did she go"? Well, I wish I could say I was having tons of adventures, while that’s not totally untrue, I did have lots of fun traveling this summer with my husband. But, the real reason I had to check out for a while was due to antidepressants. Now, I have not in any way been shy about my struggles with menopause. I have written at length about my hot flashes, weight gain, and all the other awesome side affects. Until I found my savior … [Read more...]

To Support Group Or Not?

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                                 Having cancer there has been a lot of things that have scared me, such as chemo, radiation, and surgery. But what really scared me was the thought of attending a support group. Now I know how funny that sounds considering all that I have listed, but you have to understand a few things about me in order for this to make any sense. First of all, I’m a social worker by trade and usually the one running a support group, not participating in one. Being the person … [Read more...]

The Different Ways We Deal With Cancer

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I have found it very interesting to witness how different people react to having cancer. Some folks sail away on my favorite ship “denial”, while others become vegan eating, yoga touting enthusiasts. While many yet find hope and solace in religion (even if this spirituality has never been apart of their existence before). Even more interesting is the fact that in most cases when you hear you have cancer you go a little crazy…..I include myself in this last fact. The normal consensus becomes … [Read more...]

Menopause Is a Bitch !!

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Menopause is a bitch and I believe that any woman who states otherwise is lying. I have heard of these legendary women that go through menopause without a single symptom, but I believe they are like bigfoot or the lockness monster. Tales told to keep menopausal women thinking it is all in our heads. It started out with good old hot flashes, which, if you have never experienced one is like someone setting you on fire, and putting you out….. just to set you on fire again. It’s a very sadistic … [Read more...]

My mother

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Mother: a female parent: to give birth to: also: produce: to care for or protect like a mother. The word mother has always brought up a great deal of sadness for me. I have never had a typical relationship with my mother and until recently carried around a ton of guilt when it came to the thought of her. Christine P. Adams was a “beautiful disaster” as my BFF Kelly Clarkson would say. She could be captivating and free spirited one minute and deeply sad and withdrawn the next. My childhood was … [Read more...]

Letting People In

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Hearing that you have cancer brings about all kinds of responses in people. The first time I was told I had cancer I went into a total trance and didn't wake until it was all over. In fact, I told very few people.  It was almost if “I don’t have to say it out load, than this isn't happening”.  I made my best friend swear she wouldn't tell anyone and I had a total moratorium on pictures.  No pictures were to be taken of me until my hair came back! I even went through my treatment as if it were … [Read more...]

Finding A New Passion

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Working with homeless teenagers is my passion. The young men and women that I work with never cease to amaze me with their strength and resilience. I can honestly say that I learn something new every day from the young people I have the honor to work with. Although, lately I have found that doing the job I love so very much has become difficult due to my health. I have always said that if I’m unable to give 100% to the population I serve, or feel I’m becoming a burnt out cliché’ of a social … [Read more...]

Hot Flash!

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When we started this blog I promised myself that I was not going to write about treatment and the daily crap of cancer. I wanted our site to be about hope and living, and not focus on being sick. But, at the moment all I can think about is that I am burning up.  Hot flashes are a bitch!!! I hate them. I have a new and very humbled view of the daily battle one wages not to burst in to flames. You see, every 20 minutes or so my insides heat up and I become a completely crazed mad woman. It … [Read more...]

My Insurance Company is Trying To Kill Me……

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Dear Health Insurance Company, My name is Nicole Yablun and I’m 36 years old and I have recently been diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. My husband and I have been loyal customers that have always paid our bill on time. I’m writing you today to ask one simple question: why are you trying to kill me?? No, I assure you I’m not crazy and nor am I paranoid with aluminum foil over my windows trying to keep people from reading my thoughts. I’m just your average young women with cancer … [Read more...]

The Day I Met Percocet

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At this point I have had all kinds of tests, biopsies, and scans. You name it, and I have had it. So, when they told me I needed to have a needle biopsy of my collar bone, my first thought was “bring it”. Until I remembered that it was broken due to a tumor, which then turned my thoughts into oh my #$#%!# !!!! I have had a needle biopsy before, but this time they were sticking a needle in a fractured bone.  I showed up to the procedure pretty optimistic, and thinking I knew what to expect. I … [Read more...]